Create Better Relationships – Part 1 : Trust

Trust is critical

SONY DSCIf you are going to build satisfying professional and personal relationships you must trust each other. Without trust you disguise your true self, you withhold part of your self and you constrict the relationship you are in. Consequently there is less connection in your relationship and you are less understood. At work this can damage your effectiveness and comes with a cost; at home this can cause you to grow apart…again there is a cost.

So why do you not trust the other person?
It may be for one of a number of reasons:

  • It may be about the other person; she/he may not respect you , has abused or bulleyed you, spoken about you behind your back, is not honest with you
  • Or it may be about yourself and your lack of trust; you may have perceived fears eg. You fear being judged if you reveal who you truly are; you fear that if you are honest the other will use your weaknesses against you.

How much you trust another person is your choice and you have to use your discretion. The important thing to remember is that the more you withdraw and withhold your true self, the less connection and relationship there will be with the other. Over time a relationship that lacks trust is likely to wither and die.

When you want to improve a relationship one of the first things to address is trust. You need to ask yourself – If I was to trust more and show more of my true self, would it improve my relationship with this person?

If your answer to the above question is ‘yes’, the next question is – How might I be more trusting, more in my truth, in this relationship? What action do I need to take now?

If your answer to the above question is ‘no’, and you want (or need) to stay in the relationship the next question is – How do I maintain this relationship without damaging my true self?

Do let me know how you go with these questions…share your thoughts in the comment box below.

Your Call to Action

Review your significant relationships now. Look at each of them honestly. If you would like to improve any of them ask yourself the questions highlighted above.

And come back next week for the second (2nd) part of the Create Better Relationships series, we will look at Behaviours as Triggers.

And if you are struggling with trust in your relationships or wanting support why not get in touch, I would love to help you to create more fulfilling relationships while being your true self.